A few weeks ago, a tribal mate and I were sharing a deep conversation. The topic was on the lifestyles we've "picked" for our families. As the conversation moved along, I was expressing that I've picked this lifestyle for my family, more specifically for my kids, because it's what I prefer.
I picked homeschooling. I have no idea whether this lifestyle is going to be fondly remembered by my kids when they are adults. Being kids, they have no reference point, no life experience to gauge this lifestyle by or from so they don't know - yet. As we talked further, I then spoke of picking things that I feel are important, wonderful and worthy experiences while parenting and living. I am keenly aware that everyone has completely different perceptions within my family, within relationships; from person to person these perceptions can vary dramatically. I know this.
She then went on to share a story that her own mother had experienced. My friend, being one of eleven kids growing up, although she had not homeschooled, several of her siblings had and some still are. Her mom had mentioned (to my friend) one time, that an event that she (her mom) thought was amazing to do with the kids, was not perceived the same way by the kids years later. Three vividly remembered and enjoyed the event, three did not like it at all, and three don't even remember it happening. An excellent control group to prove the "perception" point.
What I believe I know: as long as I love my kids, respect them, honour them, listen to them, have on-going conversations with them, support them, and stay connected to them; all the other stuff is just ~ stuff. And whatever they get from the stuff or don't get from the stuff ~ is just that. It is what it is.
I pick ~ reading to them because I enjoy it. I pick ~ getting them do some math because I like them to work their brains that way. I pick and they pick ~ many things during the day, but I know there are no guarantees that they will remember it, learn from it, make any connections with it or to it. I'm not in their brains, I can't see what's happening. And whatever is happening is completely individual. I do feel fortunate though, that through our wonderful conversations "I" get to hear them, listen to them, hold them, hug them, and be with them because, after all, ~ that's what I pick.
Everything else is just stuff.
Layers of stuff to go on top of a foundation that has been, hopefully, built strong.
It is what it is.
The years teach much which the days never know.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
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