Even thought it's freezing, this is a wonderful and peaceful place
to fall into
Inkheart.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Snapshot Sunday
I thought I'd give this fun idea a try. I need (more like want) a camera that I can call my own and then I'd like to learn how to get creative taking pictures!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Voices in my head
My inner dialogue natters on all day long. I question, assess, ponder, evaluate, analyze, all day. The voices can drive me crazy and make me feel anxious. As evening approaches, the voices begin to abate and as darkness falls I observe my people just being and doing. I feel just like Benjamin Button in The Curious Case when he says something that sounds like "I like the nighttime best when everyone is sleeping and I can hear them breathing. I feel safe." Yes, at night I feel safe when all my people are here. Comfort wraps around me like my cozy, fleecy blanket. I feel warm and relaxed. The voices in my head have hushed. I'm at peace. I feel calm. Then I go to sleep. I wake up....
And the voices start all over again!
I've been spending too much time in the house this fall and winter. I'm looking forward to the kids' spring activities starting up. It's time to have outings with the kids now that the days aren't so cold. I need distraction and detachment from the voices. I need connection with nature.
And the voices start all over again!
I've been spending too much time in the house this fall and winter. I'm looking forward to the kids' spring activities starting up. It's time to have outings with the kids now that the days aren't so cold. I need distraction and detachment from the voices. I need connection with nature.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Ten minute bathroom conversations
These happen daily as Shawn is getting ready for work in the morning around 7:30ish. Owen, without fail (unless he's exhausted and still sleeping) springs out of bed and plunks himself down on the porcelain throne to have a ten minute bathroom conversation with his dad. These are priceless moments for me to overhear.
Yesterday Owen is chatting on and then attempts to read something that I'm guessing is on some hair product bottle:
Saaaa......saaaannnnn......saaaannnnns.....sans....sans?
Yeah, it's French for without.
Oh. Sansa, sensa, sensay.
That's really not a word Owen.
Yeah, you know sansay...or....sensay....a Chinese fighting teacher.
Oh right, Sansei. Yeah.
I'm in bed thinking two things:
1)I'm ignorant about Chinese fighting teachers
2) Where has he heard this term?
I look for the word in the dictionary and its defined as: A third generation Japanese American.
I guess an elder teacher of sorts? Where did he hear about this? He tells me on the cartoon Kim Possible, the martial arts teacher had been addressed as Sansei....something.
Interesting.
Today, the bathroom conversation begins with Owen chattering and then:
Dad, aren't you excited about the ribs that Grandma's cooking tonight? I love ribs.
Yum, oh yeah, I can't wait.
I think I'll be dead by the time they find out if aliens really exist. I really wanna know.
Yeah, I don't know if they'll find out or not.
Did you know it takes about five days to get to the moon.
Really?
Yeah, I think it's like 105 hours.
So, that's between four and five days I guess.
Dad, I don't think we'll ever be able to go to the moon together.
Probably not.
Ahh, the moments that would not be if we were in a morning rush.
Yesterday Owen is chatting on and then attempts to read something that I'm guessing is on some hair product bottle:
Saaaa......saaaannnnn......saaaannnnns.....sans....sans?
Yeah, it's French for without.
Oh. Sansa, sensa, sensay.
That's really not a word Owen.
Yeah, you know sansay...or....sensay....a Chinese fighting teacher.
Oh right, Sansei. Yeah.
I'm in bed thinking two things:
1)I'm ignorant about Chinese fighting teachers
2) Where has he heard this term?
I look for the word in the dictionary and its defined as: A third generation Japanese American.
I guess an elder teacher of sorts? Where did he hear about this? He tells me on the cartoon Kim Possible, the martial arts teacher had been addressed as Sansei....something.
Interesting.
Today, the bathroom conversation begins with Owen chattering and then:
Dad, aren't you excited about the ribs that Grandma's cooking tonight? I love ribs.
Yum, oh yeah, I can't wait.
I think I'll be dead by the time they find out if aliens really exist. I really wanna know.
Yeah, I don't know if they'll find out or not.
Did you know it takes about five days to get to the moon.
Really?
Yeah, I think it's like 105 hours.
So, that's between four and five days I guess.
Dad, I don't think we'll ever be able to go to the moon together.
Probably not.
Ahh, the moments that would not be if we were in a morning rush.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Monday's Mindful Moments
During the past few days, I've been feeling anxious, grumpy and restricted like a prisoner trapped in a web.
We've been enrolled with the same program for five years. It's begun to change. The woman (teacher) with whom we signed on to be our guide and mentor has now retired and so begins the change.
I've had moments throughout the five years where I don't feel like I'm aligned with my own values about homeschooling, but I've been able to overcome them knowing that we had someone whom I felt truly supported us on our path. This past week I feel like I'm living a lie. I'm trying to be someone living a way that is following an agenda that I don't pick. I want to be with a program that honours my kids, all of their choices and validates everything and anything we/they choose to do.
Owen wanted to order this and this with his funding. Only problem is, they don't match up with any learning outcomes for grade four. Oh, but they could for grade five, just not in grade four. I haven't heard back from her since I wrote that I thought they could meet outcomes for: comprehending written instructions or directions; follows written instructions or charts or diagrams. It's just stupid because the outcomes are arbitrarily decided upon. Because of the outcomes, the making of these robots does not fall into his specific grade level, therefore they are deemed unworthy and not fundable. BLAH!
If my kids learn at home next year, then I'm going to go with the program which we only stayed in for week ( a year and a half ago ) because I was overwhelmed and it felt, at the time, like too much writing. I like writing so what was my problem? Change, that's what. I'm ready for the change this time because it is far more aligned with my beliefs.
I have to find a way to earn some money. My kids are still too young for us to take in a foster child and all of the potential issues. I'm waiting for a sign, some kind of sign to point me in a direction that will work for our family. A direction that has me earning money, the schedule doesn't affect everyone too much and my kids can continue to learn at home.
Today there are too many little things pecking away at my brain and I need to start seeing all the little things that aren't. Like my kids dancing and singing and playing. The sun shining all over the maple tree which thaws its frosty branches and then it looks like it's raining only under the tree.
No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams. ~Jesse Jackson~
We've been enrolled with the same program for five years. It's begun to change. The woman (teacher) with whom we signed on to be our guide and mentor has now retired and so begins the change.
I've had moments throughout the five years where I don't feel like I'm aligned with my own values about homeschooling, but I've been able to overcome them knowing that we had someone whom I felt truly supported us on our path. This past week I feel like I'm living a lie. I'm trying to be someone living a way that is following an agenda that I don't pick. I want to be with a program that honours my kids, all of their choices and validates everything and anything we/they choose to do.
Owen wanted to order this and this with his funding. Only problem is, they don't match up with any learning outcomes for grade four. Oh, but they could for grade five, just not in grade four. I haven't heard back from her since I wrote that I thought they could meet outcomes for: comprehending written instructions or directions; follows written instructions or charts or diagrams. It's just stupid because the outcomes are arbitrarily decided upon. Because of the outcomes, the making of these robots does not fall into his specific grade level, therefore they are deemed unworthy and not fundable. BLAH!
If my kids learn at home next year, then I'm going to go with the program which we only stayed in for week ( a year and a half ago ) because I was overwhelmed and it felt, at the time, like too much writing. I like writing so what was my problem? Change, that's what. I'm ready for the change this time because it is far more aligned with my beliefs.
I have to find a way to earn some money. My kids are still too young for us to take in a foster child and all of the potential issues. I'm waiting for a sign, some kind of sign to point me in a direction that will work for our family. A direction that has me earning money, the schedule doesn't affect everyone too much and my kids can continue to learn at home.
Today there are too many little things pecking away at my brain and I need to start seeing all the little things that aren't. Like my kids dancing and singing and playing. The sun shining all over the maple tree which thaws its frosty branches and then it looks like it's raining only under the tree.
No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams. ~Jesse Jackson~
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Seeing the list makes me feel better
I enjoy reading out loud to my kids. I had hoped to try and read about ten novels a year. Nice fantasy. When I updated this list today, I could see that I've only read about four to five a year. That's okay, I'm feel pretty good, because even though the list has been built over a six and a half year period, it sure looks long standing on its own.
I'm content.
I'm content.
- Little House in the Big Woods
- Little House on the Prairie
- Charlotte's Web
- Trumpet of the Swan
- Farmer Boy
- Anne of Green Gables
- The Magician's Nephew
- On the Banks of Plum Creek
- The Swiss Family Robinson
- The Hundred Dresses
- Sarah, Plain and Tall
- Skylark
- Caleb's Story
- Harry Potter (#1)
- Amish Adventure
- Underground to Canada
- Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry
- Twenty and Ten
- Owl's in the Family
- Mr. Popper's Penguin
- Island of the Blue Dolphins
- White Lilly
- My Side of the Mountain
- The Endless Steppe
- Factory Girl
- Indian Captive
- A Chance Child
- Julie and the Wolves - audiobook
- Lilly's Crossing - audiobook
- Where the Red Fern Grows - audiobook
Monday, January 12, 2009
Monday's Mindful Moments
Sisterhood: It's powerful, magnificent and treasured.
When we first moved here from Vancouver, it took me about five years to feel like this new place was home. During the first year on the island, my belly was growing our first child and I attended a small play group in the very rural area in which we lived. The group of women there were funny, friendly and had children, but they partied a lot.
After that first year, we then settled into our duplex of nine years which was about thirty minutes from where we had lived rurally. I didn't keep in contact with that group of women because I didn't feel deeply connected to them. That's the thing about me, I'm always deep and looking for meaningful moments.
It wasn't until Mitch was two, that I started going to another play group. It was at that same play group, three years later, that I connected with a group of women. I started a woman's, once a month, group. The premise was to meet once a month at each other's homes (since there were twelve women) each woman only had to host once a year. From that group stemmed a book club, running group (Sole Sisters) and other get-togethers. It was really what I needed at that time in my life.
People come in to your life for a reason, a season, a short time and sometimes a lifetime. I believe that that particular group of women came into my life for a reason (connection), a season (raising very young children) and a short time (four years). But, I was still needing something deeper; I needed like-minded people. After reading The Editor's Journal titled "Language Helps us Find Our Tribe" in Life Learning Magazine, I realize now, that's what I was seeking all along. It wasn't until I started homeschooling that I began meeting so many people that shared the same "language" as me.
When I became fortunate enough to meet Dana, Sheri, Kristen and Nancy through homeschooling, I now know, I found my "tribe". A group of women with whom I am able to be myself without fear of judgement, who support me and my choices, but also have the courage to challenge my thinking on many subjects and levels; they speak my "language". They have come to me for a reason ( deep, meaningful connection of women who also homeschool ) a season (older children and I'm older too) and they've come to me, hopefully, for a lifetime.
When we first moved here from Vancouver, it took me about five years to feel like this new place was home. During the first year on the island, my belly was growing our first child and I attended a small play group in the very rural area in which we lived. The group of women there were funny, friendly and had children, but they partied a lot.
After that first year, we then settled into our duplex of nine years which was about thirty minutes from where we had lived rurally. I didn't keep in contact with that group of women because I didn't feel deeply connected to them. That's the thing about me, I'm always deep and looking for meaningful moments.
It wasn't until Mitch was two, that I started going to another play group. It was at that same play group, three years later, that I connected with a group of women. I started a woman's, once a month, group. The premise was to meet once a month at each other's homes (since there were twelve women) each woman only had to host once a year. From that group stemmed a book club, running group (Sole Sisters) and other get-togethers. It was really what I needed at that time in my life.
People come in to your life for a reason, a season, a short time and sometimes a lifetime. I believe that that particular group of women came into my life for a reason (connection), a season (raising very young children) and a short time (four years). But, I was still needing something deeper; I needed like-minded people. After reading The Editor's Journal titled "Language Helps us Find Our Tribe" in Life Learning Magazine, I realize now, that's what I was seeking all along. It wasn't until I started homeschooling that I began meeting so many people that shared the same "language" as me.
When I became fortunate enough to meet Dana, Sheri, Kristen and Nancy through homeschooling, I now know, I found my "tribe". A group of women with whom I am able to be myself without fear of judgement, who support me and my choices, but also have the courage to challenge my thinking on many subjects and levels; they speak my "language". They have come to me for a reason ( deep, meaningful connection of women who also homeschool ) a season (older children and I'm older too) and they've come to me, hopefully, for a lifetime.
Some People
by
Rachel Field
Isn't it strange some people make
You feel so tired inside,
Your thoughts begin to shrivel up
Like leaves all brown and dried!
But when you're with some other ones,
It's stranger still to find
Your thoughts as thick as fireflies
All shiny in your mind!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
190.2
Just a few changes:
- eliminate sweets
- drink tea in the morning and late afternoon - when most needed
- eat something different for breakfast every day
- eat fairly healthy meals and portions
- get moving
We've been rearranging furniture to accommodate a home gym. The room is still not in gym fashion, but at least the treadmill is set up and running. The kids have been really enjoying it and so have I. We hope to get some weights and workout mats soon and hang the heavy bag.
Breathe in - courage and strength; Breathe out - addiction and attachment
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